It’s hard to believe that today was the day that Finn should have been making his appearance earth side. Bodhi was 3 weeks over due, Trout was one day past his due date, so I would imagine that Finn really would have been born right about now.
However, due to Placenta Previa, I had a cesarean 3 weeks ago. If you are wanting to check out my posts related to this birth story as well as my journey with placenta previa click here, here, and HERE.
Back to the birth day of Mr. Finn.
Finn and Ryan had been rushed off to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) while I was finishing up the rest of my cesarean. Thankfully, Finn and Ryan were in the OR with me up until 10 minutes before I was done. I didn’t really spend too much time alone.
Recovery didn’t take long…thank goodness! I mentioned before that the anesthesiologist went SUPER conservative on meds; by the time I was in the OR recovery area I already had feeling in my navel and literally hung out for 10 minutes while they made sure I didn’t throw up or have any difficulty with sitting up.
I am a light weight with meds. By the time they removed Finn and I was being stitched back up I was feeling SUPER light headed. I can only describe my feeling like I was dizzy and spaced out. The anesthesiologist said that the body goes into a state of shock and it was normal to feel the way I was feeling. It wasn’t fun and I think I stayed feeling that way for most of the afternoon.
Once I was wheeled up to my room on the labor and delivery floor I wanted to know the status on Finn ASAP. Unfortunately he was not stable enough for me to visit him and I was so light headed from the meds and surgery that I wasn’t in a state to hold a baby who was as vulnerable as Finn was at that moment.
This part of my birth story with Finn was the hardest. Normally, when a woman delivers her baby, she is instantly reunited with her babe and they begin to bond. I didn’t get to see Finn let alone hold or nurse him until hours after.
My goal at this point in our journey was to start pumping to tell my body that baby was born and milk needed to be made.
The nursing staff was great and brought me a pump and didn’t once smirk while I was “you tubing” mom’s nursing their babies trying desperately to help me body believe it was supposed to be nursing at that moment too.
Between drinking water pretty shortly after surgery, (without puking yay!) and my body’s amazing skills of making milk; I was able to give the NICU 8 ml of colostrum, that is a lot!
Every 2 hours I pumped and tried to keep my mind off the fact that all I wanted to do was be with Finn and that was the one thing I couldn’t do.
Bodhi and Trout visited after I was able to keep down water and proved that I wasn’t going to pass out from being upright, (I really am not good with meds!).
I was so happy to see my two little men, but, I was really groggy and it was hard to be engaged when I was missing Finn and feeling so loopy.
Evening rolled around and I was finally able to go down to the NICU to see Finn. I was still light headed so I had to be wheeled down. I don’t think the nurse wanted me to go, she could tell I was pretty dizzy, but I really needed to see my little man.
You all, seeing Finn with a CPAP was tough. He had wires all around him as well as a tube down his throat and the CPAP covering his nose. Thankfully the NICU staff knew this was emotional for parents and gave me a safe space to cry and I did.
Nothing about that moment with my baby was natural and it was hard for my momma self to make sense that I had a baby, but couldn’t be with my baby.
Thankfully, I was able to hold him…but again, I was still dizzy and at that point drowsy.
Leaving Finn at the NICU was emotional and tough, but I had to focus on the positives as well as rest up so that him and I could bond again when he was strong enough.
For the next 24 hours Finn proved how tough he is and I learned how amazing the staff is at the hospital we were at. Finn was able to go off the assisted air all together, he was working on maintaining his body temps solo, and he proved that he was as much of a champ about breast feeding as his brothers!!!!
I will write in a later post about recovery from cesarean as well as what to expect that I didn’t expect to deal with post surgery (like mind-numbingly painful gas).
3 days in the hospital for both Finn and I and at the end of it all we got to go home together. Between the amazing staff as well as my persistence with recovering, nursing, and Finn’s rockstar baby status I really think we were blessed in the situation we were given.