Sharing my own health journey has been more tough for me than expected. I feel almost ashamed in the fact that I went for school to be a dietitian, went on to study my masters in holistic nutrition, interned under an incredible lady who was cutting edge in the biochemistry aspect of nutrition, (I will forever see our gut is our second brain because of her wisdom along with seeing the power of zinc, and a million and one other teachings that are invaluable).
Mostly, I feel ashamed, because who am I to dish out advice when I have my own hang ups? I feel like when I do open up I discredit myself; make myself vulnerable to scrutiny of my peers as well as those who trust in me to help them with their own food journeys. I am not accomplished in the “career” world…I’m just a mom with a head full of knowledge from my own life experiences willing to share with whoever is willing or wanting to listen.
However, I was stewing in this today and came to the realization that f*ck it! I’m not perfect. I never have been perfect, never will I ever be perfect. But, from my mistakes I have learned A LOT and while I might come off as incompetent/unqualified…I have been to the depths of nutritional deficiency and back, I’ve birthed two healthy, beautiful baby boys, I’ve managed to be a nursing mom for the last 6 years straight, and damn it…that’s got to stand for something.
Whoa! I apologize for the four letter frenzy! I never swear this much…but, I have been my own worse enemy and I think in order to continue on my healing journey I have to stop with all the negative thoughts and move forward with only the positive. It’s funny, true, annoying that the saying, “we are our own worse enemies” is really true. The only one holding me back is myself. Of course people will have their opinions. However, it is how I chose to define myself that matters and I can’t let the fear of what other’s think after I’ve opened up about something personal cripple me…otherwise, I should really just stop sharing.
Heavy, yes….necessary? to those who battle with the same demons…most definitely!
Thank you to those who kindly nod along as I occasionally pour my heart out. Thank you for continuing to read even when I’m probably on the brink of crazy, and thank you for allowing me to be part of some of your journeys as well when I get amazing feed back or personal anecdotes that help me see that while we are all little fish in a big pond (yes, I realize that I wrote that backwards)…all of our lives matter to someone, we are not alone, and most of us are cheering others on towards their own discovery of wholeness.
With all of that being said…..
I’m getting more creative in the kitchen, finding answers about why I’ve always struggled with my health, (especially anxiety disorders…which is actually a genetic anomaly…boy am I learning a lot with all my tests and expert talks). I don’t know if I would have ever worked so hard to feel “better” if it weren’t for taking up running and realizing how much I really do love the sport and have to above all take care of myself if I want to continue to be a runner.
Sandwiches are making a comeback in my house!
Plantain bread, (2 eggs + plantain = best bread ever!) combined with homemade hummus, avocado, cucumber, and himalayan sea salt…I might become a habitual eater after this sandwich was conceived 😉
No need for bread either! Rainbow chard makes the best vesicle for sandwich fixing, (I must need cucumber…I have been eating a ton of that lately!)
FYI…I am not the genius who came up with plantain bread…head over to see more great plantain recipes over at purely twins. These ladies are wizards when it comes to plantains..I would have never known without them sharing!