Lately, with the added miles in my schedule, 2 boys becoming more rowdy by the day, and just generally having a hard time taking photos period….I had so much to say or post about, but due to the lack of photos and Monday getting the better of me, blogging just didn’t happen.
While I was out for my afternoon run I put on a new podcast of “Running on Om”. I have mentioned this little gem probably a half a million times, (give or take)…but, when you find something that is so inexplicably wonderful…you tend to mention it more than once, (hence my boys being in every single blog post 😉 ).
Julia, the host, interviewed an ultra runner who I quickly resonated with on so many levels. Her guest was Stephanie Howe, and if you head over to the ROO website you can read a quick bio as well as listen to the podcast online.
So why do I want to talk about Stephanie Howe? First of all, she’s amazing. This woman has had quite the educational journey and has landed on nutrition and running as her expertise as well as carrying around her PhD. She is a professional ultra marathon runner to boot. However, what really resonated with me was her journey towards becoming who she is….after all isn’t it about the journey?
My other reason for having a huge crush on her is her humility about where she’s gotten and how it helped give me permission to be unabashedly “flaky”, if you could call it that, in my own life’s journey.
I hate the world “flaky”, but for lack of better words…I think it fits this particular point. Stephanie didn’t find herself or her life’s calling right from the get go. In fact, if I can recall correctly, she went through 5 different majors before she landed on one that stuck. She has moved from place to place, (Bozeman being one of the them!!!!!!) trying to figure out what really fit her personality, lifestyle, as well as a community that would support her passions.
Why do I find this so admirable? For me, I have for so long identified myself as a mom, wife, student…that I really never allowed “me” to play a central role. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to find something to claim as my own. I’ve gone from studying nutrition for over 10 years, studying midwifery, realizing I cared more about woman’s health and wanting to focus on that, yoga and possibly instructing, to my present day love of living life as a stay-at-home mom/homeschooler and reveling in it.
For those who have gone on my journey along side of me, (i.e. Ryan)…I have always felt insanely flakey. Why was it so easy for him to have realized his true calling? here I was trying to reinvent the wheel every time I founds something else I could be really good at!; every hobby was a contender and I was driving myself crazy.
I hate to admit this, but with running..I have probably gotten too carried away with the possibilities in where it could take me…that’s apparently how my mind works. Thankfully, after listening to Stephanie talk with Julia on the ROO podcast, I realized that it was okay that my journey took a lot of detours, it was okay that I had a lot of options, (isn’t that better than being limited?), I should be excited that there are so many things that give me joy in my life; thank you Stephanie Howe and Juila Hanlon!
Listening to the podcast of course got me all philosophical 😉 I ended up taking this photo
rather than “look at me wearing my cool green shades pushing a heavy a@# stroller”
I actually did take both, but I looked at the photo of myself running and realized the amazing looking tree above my head and immediately decided that the tree was too pretty not to photograph. As a runner, I generally look forward or down, especially with all the ice on the ground lately…looking up was a new POV for me…see getting all “looking at the big picture” on you guys 😉 😉 ).
I post this, because, listening to podcasts or talking with friends, people who I admire, I am constantly gaining a “new perspective” on my life. Selfishly, I have all to gain from it. Listening to Stephanie Howe speak was incredibly liberating for me! It helped me give myself permission to be okay with not knowing who “me” is at this point in time; yes, I’m a mom, wife, home-maker…but there will be a time where my boys won’t need me 24/7, Ryan and I will be on our own, and house chores will become considerably less, (without the Tazmanian devils tearing it up 😉 )…what then? how will I fill my time and what will I choose to do that will fill me up with as much joy as being what I am now?
Hopefully, as long as I keep meeting incredibly amazing folks like I do on a regular basis, tuning into more ROO podcasts, as well as trying not to second guess my options in life….I will be fine. I am certain I will find what makes me, me, however, right now, my identity includes a laundry list of obligations; I still have time for me, while limited, but this is my time to explore my options, to be flaky, so that later on I might have a new POV on who I should be that will fit, (and then change again 5 years later 😉 ).
I have to include one photo of Bodhi
He is getting his haircut tomorrow and I am going to miss how his beautiful golden locks flow out of his blue beanie! But, if I’m going to be giving myself the freedom to change my mind then I have to give this little man the same consideration. I am sure this won’t be the last drastic change he goes through in his life…sigh, I just have to remind myself he is his own person and is growing up…where does the time go?!