Run Nelly Run

Run Nelly Run

Running through life as self-proclaimed house wife, mother, homeschooler, and wanna-be chef

Learning to be kinder to myself

Lately I have been feeling blah on the wellness factor.  I have been battling a bout of “imbalance” that has presented itself in the form of vertigo.  Let me just say this, if you have never had vertigo, may you never ever, and if you have….I am sorry.

I am the all or all type, (yes i realize it should be all or nothing).  I believe from the moment I was born I was hard wired to be the kind of person who is their own-worst critic as well as someone who goes a million miles a minute until something knocks me on my butt, (sometimes literally).

Struggling with vertigo while trying to maintain any sort of semblance of a normal life has been quite the juggling act…I have found the whole experience frustrating.  However, I have also looked at it as yet another way for my body to help me learn to be kinder to myself.  I tend to put a lot on my plate on one time and my body usually rebuttals in a not so discrete way….These moments are tough, but usually character changing in a good way.

Reflecting on my journey as of late has had me realize a couple of things:

  1. My journey is mine alone…I need to stop being negative about silly things like having to do speed work on treadmill rather then outside.  I need to honor my limitations, that is huge!
  2. I have a lot on my plate and it is okay to ask for help.  
  3. I am not super woman.  I want my boys to understand that when their mom isn’t feeling well that they have to respect that and not think something is “wrong” with me, because I’m not my usual “speedy” self.

While I await some things medically…I am hoping that I find relief in the “dizzy/disoriented” aspect of vertigo.  I realize from here on out I am going to have to bump up my “mindfulness” to 200%…I really don’t want this to become a regular occurrence, (it’s only ever happened twice before and far apart…enough time to almost forget it happened).

In spite of feeling “off” I did have an awesome friend, whom I adore, watch the boys for me on Wednesday so I could take a speed workout outdoors…it was icy and challenging!

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I’m hoping my not feeling 100% had something to do with the fact that running at my usual half marathon pace was TOUGH.

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I tried to take a photo of how crazy my eyes look with vertigo…they are not happy!  (by the way…I tend to lean down a lot when I get sick….so I DO NOT like getting sick…it makes me extremely nervous that I don’t have a lot of reserves to deal with on my 5’3″ frame).

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Food has been unappealing with vertigo…but I know low blood sugar only makes it worse…so instead of going out and buying more food…Trout and I repurposed the little bit of vegannaise left in the jar and made it into “ranch” dressing.  I used it on top a bed of spinach greens, an entire avocado, and sunflower seeds…it was yummy!

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Not feeling well makes me nostalgic for food I was given as a kid whenever I was under the weather.

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Bodhi gave my cinnamon sugar toast a thumbs up….he is loving sick mom 😉

Bodhi has been super duper sweet to me while all of this has been going on…I love my big man!

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He fell asleep sitting up with me!

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Snuggled with his little brother while I attempted to walk the dogs.

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Trout on the other hand….has been a screaming, no-cloths wearing, hooligan while I’ve been sick…he had every person I talked to from ENT receptionist, chiropractor, to my physician giving me their deepest sympathies from all of his screaming…yup, it was that kind of day.

I’m hoping to start to turn the corner for the better…but until then I am scaling life back a ton and trying to keep a good humor about it all….feeling drunk without the fun buzz is how I try to relate the feeling…at least that’s what I tell Ryan when he looks at me with pity.

Hoping all of you are well and doing great with training, (if you are undertaking any).  To all you who are not well at the moment too….get better soon! I will be rooting for us all!

 

 

 

 

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